Can we ever understand War?

I have always thought of myself as a pacifist- I don't believe in war or armed conflict as some people prefer to say. But I never had any personal reasons to oppose it... until now. Knowing that you are leaving to Iraq really is scaring the shit out of me- I am taking this as a big toll... yes I am fearful not to see you again. Talking to you yesterday at least for that brief second brought back so many memories... many good ones too! I guess circumstances have changed now that I know we have closed a cycle; but I still wondered why you ever married. War is touching me for the first time and I can only ask you to please come back... you will not come back to me but you need to get back to your new family.... let me process this more before I see you again.